Confession IS good for the soul.
Last night I tried to put Green to bed earlier than the other kids. We have transitioned to all three kids sharing a room and that can make bedtime a little hectic. As it is I'm not good at bedtime. I'm tired, I'm sick of kids bickering, whining, asking questions, making messes, and my own selflessness. So after an HOUR AND A HALF of me sitting in the bedroom with Green and him repeatedly getting up, asking questions, needing drinks and laughing at any punishment I can think of, I basically give up. It is time for Pink and Blue to come to bed and so I give the 10 minute warning that it's time for bed. In this time I expect them to get drinks, change, use the bathroom etc. They all get to bed and it is quiet. WHAT!!!! Can it be?
Nope. I hear feet. I am going to blow a gasket. It's more than I can take. I go up to discipline Green who I assume is causing the pitter patter and who do I see at the top of the stairs? Blue!
The conversation goes something like this
"WHAT!!!!"
"Mom, I'm thirsty"
"Are you kidding me right now? Green is finally laying down, being still and quiet and you need a drink?!" I'm yelling, I admit it.
"Mom, I'm thirsty"
"To bad, you were supposed to get a drink before bed"
and I heartlessly head back downstairs.
Blue starts crying. "Man, I'm heartless, but the kid does need a drink"
So I stomp upstairs and grab the almost empty water bottle from Green's 30,000 drinks over the last two hours and literally throw it across the room at Blue's bed. Then the unthinkable happens. The lid hasn't been secured and I actually just threw water all over my child in a fit of rage. He starts crying out of pure shock, I'm half laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation and half crying at how much I suck right now. I quietly apologize, hand him another water bottle and head downstairs. I still have to go up and remind Green to lay still and be quiet a few times and then pure silence.
I quickly got online and confessed to two of my closest friends trying to ease the guilt and to have someone to laugh it off with. I really do feel awful, I took my frustration from Green out on Blue and acted so awful towards him, but one kind friend said "I know that very feeling."and the other said "It was water not acid, he'll dry."
Obviously there is a long list of ways I could have handled this situation differently and hindsight is 20/20. I have to remind myself that kids are resilient. This morning there was nothing said about it, Blue went to swim lessons without an obviously aversion to water so we're probably in the clear for water related PTSD and permanent emotional scarring. I got a good laugh at myself and a great reminder to calm it down a little. We are on day 6 of this new house and sleeping arrangement. There is plenty of time to figure it out and get good habits in place by the time the baby gets here. It also reminds me that maybe I should be a little more firm in insisting that Mr Fixit take a turn now and then to do bedtime.
Last night I tried to put Green to bed earlier than the other kids. We have transitioned to all three kids sharing a room and that can make bedtime a little hectic. As it is I'm not good at bedtime. I'm tired, I'm sick of kids bickering, whining, asking questions, making messes, and my own selflessness. So after an HOUR AND A HALF of me sitting in the bedroom with Green and him repeatedly getting up, asking questions, needing drinks and laughing at any punishment I can think of, I basically give up. It is time for Pink and Blue to come to bed and so I give the 10 minute warning that it's time for bed. In this time I expect them to get drinks, change, use the bathroom etc. They all get to bed and it is quiet. WHAT!!!! Can it be?
Nope. I hear feet. I am going to blow a gasket. It's more than I can take. I go up to discipline Green who I assume is causing the pitter patter and who do I see at the top of the stairs? Blue!
The conversation goes something like this
"WHAT!!!!"
"Mom, I'm thirsty"
"Are you kidding me right now? Green is finally laying down, being still and quiet and you need a drink?!" I'm yelling, I admit it.
"Mom, I'm thirsty"
"To bad, you were supposed to get a drink before bed"
and I heartlessly head back downstairs.
Blue starts crying. "Man, I'm heartless, but the kid does need a drink"
So I stomp upstairs and grab the almost empty water bottle from Green's 30,000 drinks over the last two hours and literally throw it across the room at Blue's bed. Then the unthinkable happens. The lid hasn't been secured and I actually just threw water all over my child in a fit of rage. He starts crying out of pure shock, I'm half laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation and half crying at how much I suck right now. I quietly apologize, hand him another water bottle and head downstairs. I still have to go up and remind Green to lay still and be quiet a few times and then pure silence.
I quickly got online and confessed to two of my closest friends trying to ease the guilt and to have someone to laugh it off with. I really do feel awful, I took my frustration from Green out on Blue and acted so awful towards him, but one kind friend said "I know that very feeling."and the other said "It was water not acid, he'll dry."
Obviously there is a long list of ways I could have handled this situation differently and hindsight is 20/20. I have to remind myself that kids are resilient. This morning there was nothing said about it, Blue went to swim lessons without an obviously aversion to water so we're probably in the clear for water related PTSD and permanent emotional scarring. I got a good laugh at myself and a great reminder to calm it down a little. We are on day 6 of this new house and sleeping arrangement. There is plenty of time to figure it out and get good habits in place by the time the baby gets here. It also reminds me that maybe I should be a little more firm in insisting that Mr Fixit take a turn now and then to do bedtime.
5 comments:
We've all been there and no child has ever been scarred from water being thrown on them.....in fact they actually encourage this happening. Maybe keep some water balloons handy....Just keep the acid out in the barn ;)
That is actually a great idea! I might take a squirt gun in with me and every time they start making noise or sitting up I'll squirt them.
Squirting water on them is like training a cat, except you can throw a cat outdoors!!!! I go through the same thing with Zephyr, he'll talk and kick and squirm for about an hour and then instantly crashes. It's the funniest thing, after he's asleep, before than I could choke him.
Nothing calms me down and makes me a able to do long bedtimes better than the nights Papa does the whole routine solo with the older. Just once a week is magic, I nurse and read a book until the wee one is asleep and then read on blissfully while commotion continues upstairs. Helps the loving marriage bit too. As for mommy tantrums, you didn't throw him so you're winning. I've upended baskets of poorly sorted toys all over a bedroom that was cleaned "wrong" whlet screaming and stomping my feet. It happens, it's nice to hear it from other good mommies.
Apparently you don't remember my tantrums when you were little, so... There are always those days (or nights) Hang in there, you're doing a great job.
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